Love

Love

Matthew 22:37-40

And he said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the great and first commandment.

And a second like unto it is this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

On these two commandments the whole law hangeth, and the prophets.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love and Self-worth are inextricably linked. A person with no self-worth can not love himself and cannot, therefore, love another. A person with no self-worth cannot love God! A person who is loved will always have some self-worth. A believer knows God loves him or her and therefore has some self-worth and can love.

A child develops self-worth through discipline. Children need limits. They are trying to understand a world that is quite beyond their understanding, it is difficult for an adult to understand. Children need limits to provide space to develop and incorporate what they learn. When they exceed those limits, we must give them time-out to allow them to realize that what they did displeased us and endangered them. Punishment assures the child that we care about them and love them.

Which brings up another point, children have no sense of mortality. Even when we tell them something will hurt, they do not understand. If a child does something dangerous, something that threatens life and limb, we must then (and only then) use corporal punishment. We must inflict part of the hurt they missed when they behaved in a life threatening way. It is appropriate to spank a child who plays with matches. It is not appropriate to spank a child who talks back or uses inappropriate language.

I have heard parents say they don't want to interfere with a child's creativity by excessive punishment. I can assure them that punishment will never spoil a child or harm their creative nature. In truth, a child who has no limits will never truly be creative since creativity requires discipline. A child with no discipline will not develop creativity but will rather become destructive. They will set out to find limits and continue to act out until someone smacks them down and begins to set limits. If this goes on too long, they will simply learn that parents and others only react when they are destructive and bad.

There is a lot of truth to the old saw:

Spare the rod and spoil the child.

If you try to avoid punishing your child you will only produce the opposite of a well adjusted adult who has self-discipline and is successful. Show your child love and give him or her limits and never be afraid to punish your child when they exceed those limits.

Amen