Trust

Trust

Are you trustworthy?

Trust is possibly the most important thing in life. Trust is the basis ao every relationship.

If you want to stay employed your employer must trust you. If you want to stay married you need to trust and be trusted. If you want your children to develop well you must trust them and they must trust you!

Do you trust your children? Do you show it?

The second question is just as important as the first, maybe more. It matters little if you trust your children if you don't show it. Children need and want our trust. They cannot fully trust themselves if you do not trust them. Consequently, children will frequently try to prove that they can be trusted, in any way they can.

An example of the lack of trust.

Your child starts playing and spending time with a neighborhood child who doesn't have the best reputation. This child is often dirty and his clothes are always in poor shape. Further, the childs parents have a bad reputation. You feel a need to protect your child from this "bad influence" . So you tell your child he (or she) is not to play with this child.

The above shows a lack of trust. You are saying, in effect, to your child "I do not trust you to make proper choices about playmates." Instead of teaching your child and trusting in the basic goodness of your child, you take it upon yourself to choose his or her playmates. The irony of this is, in your effort to help and protect your child, you are hurting both your child and the neighborhood child.

Your child is not going to learn how to judge people if you do it for him or her. What happens when your child is an adult, when you can no longer choose his or her friends. Now your child is likely to make some major mistakes which seriously affect the quality of your childs life.

Allowing your child to make a mistake is one of the hardest things a parent has to do. However, if you stop them as children, they do not learn and end up making the same mistakes as an adult. Only, as an adult, the mistake has serious consequenses.

In the above scenario, you also hurt the child with the bad reputation. If other parents do the same as you, who does this child get to play with. Certainly not your child, who just may teach them to be honest and upright. Rather, other children with bad reputations, children who will not have the benefit of your childs moral upbringing.

You hurt your child by depriving them of an invaluable lesson and you hurt the other child by depriving them of a good influence. Trust in God, good always wins out over evil. A good influence is stronger than a bad influence. Let your children play with whom they wish and you, with the help of Christ Jesus, be the shining light of goodness in their lives. Don't be suprised when your child becomes a shining light of goodness in another childs life!

An example of trust:

Your daughter brings a young man that she is dating home to meet you and your wife. The young man arrives wearing torn jeans and a leather jacket. His hair is cut in a manner you associate with gangs and bad things. When you learn his name you remember some awful things about his family. Your first inclination is to boot this person out your door and lock your daughter in her room until she forgets his name.

But you don't. You are cordial. You offer him hospitality. You show him acceptance. Why? because you trust your daughter! Consider, you do not know this young man, any judgement you make is based on hearsay, inuendo, and how he chooses to present himself. However, you do know your daughter. You have raised her and instilled her with your values. You have been (I hope) the shining light of goodness in her life. You have set an example for her. So you trust her judgement when it comes to boys and prove this by bing cordial, hospitable, and accepting!

You trust your child. What happens if the young man is not suitable? Well, your daughter, comfortable in your love and trust will quickly realize that he is simply not the kind of boy she wants to date. She learns a lesson about people and the kind of people she wants to associate with. She learns!

What happens if you "boot this person out your door and lock your daughter in her room until she forgets his name." Well your daughter learns you don't trust her, that she can't trust herself, and that you don't really trust yourself. Afterall, you raised her, you taught her judgement, you are her example, mentor, and light! If you can not trust what you taught your daughter, then you must feel you taught her wrong! Where does that leave her.

Which example will you be for your child?

First Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Amen